everyone who has bipolar always goes back and forth with thinking they are fine and then knowing that they have bipolar,, i was told i have the worse case of bipolar because my modes change all the time and they say i have trauma from when i was a child and a little of OCD because i am a clean freak I have had bipolar since i was 14-16 not sure when it started i could of had it when I was born i was a wicked druggie when i was younger i did x and i tripped on acid and smoke a lot of weed and i did coke and tried crack once.. i don’t know if that’s the reason why my bipolar came out of or if it was because i was a teenager.. well i am 25 now and it keeps coming back i have been on and off meds my reg doctor that i see just found out i have bipolar like 3 years ago because i had a wicked melt down and since then he wont give me meds even for my asthma i just was wondering if you guys docs do they same thing? also i am having a wicked hard time finding a med doctor because the demon just came back again (meaning my bipolar) I have been off my meds for and 1-2 years and all of a sudden i broke down again.. finally i have realized that i need to stay on my meds.. I don’t know why i am even writing any of this on here i guess it just feels good to express how i feel to people that don’t know me..